week ending oct 28, 2007:

October 28, 2007: Alex has been having a hard week this week. He’s had 3 tantrums, one of them at school which resulted in his being sent to the office. There is no other repercussion associated with being sent to the office, no “this will go down on your permanent record” talk, no spanking or anything, the teachers just have their hands full with their students and don’t have time to deal with a child who won’t go along with the group. But, as soon as they got in the car after school Chloe told me “there is a place at school called the office where they send bad kids and Alex had to go there because he wouldn’t walk”, so Alex got the idea that going to the office is a punishment and he’s ashamed. Even before the incident he didn’t want to go to school and feeling ashamed just compounds his dislike of school. Fortunately the next time they go to school is Tuesday and it is the Halloween party, so at least he’s got something to look forward to.

On Wednesday we were all supposed to go to the aquarium with Grammy Barb, but Alex had already had 2 (unrelated) tantrums that week and then he told me he didn’t want to go the aquarium. I got out the pictures from our last trip to the aquarium and Alex just calmly reiterated that he was not going to go. I thought about it for a while and decided that a trip to the aquarium with crowds and lots of unfamiliar experiences would probably just further stress Alex out and that a calm day at home with Grammy Barb might be just the ticket. So Chloe and I went to the aquarium and had a fabulous time and Alex stayed home and had a nice time. When I got home I showed him all 80 pictures that Chloe and I took and mostly he was interested in them, but at one point he did mention that he was a little sad that he’d seen the dolphins. Our pictures http://picasaweb.google.com/constance.phelps/Aquarium2007

Also this week the kids started swimming lessons. I had signed the kids up before they started to hate school and before Alex was showing signs of being stressed out. The kids had a great time at their lesson and liked their teacher and I stayed in the pool area (in the 85F 85% humidity instead of on the other side of the observation glass) so that Alex would be able to see that I was right there.

Also this week we bought some new tea and the kids were very excited about it. They are so fascinated with each step of making the tea as though heating water, bobbing a tea bag, waiting for it to steep, wringing out the bag, and stirring in milk and sugar are each steps in some magic spell. We bought a multipack of caffeine-free herb teas with flavors like lemon, orange, ginger, cinnamon apple, and chamomile. They willingly tried all those new flavors (which a big deal for kids their age who usually reject the unfamiliar).

week ending oct 21, 2007:

Week ending October 21, 2007: This week the kids have been making me laugh, and making me think, so I thought I’d spend some time cherishing the little moments. Chloe is so curious about the world she comes up with some challenging questions. For instance one day she was quizzing me in the car “Did God make the sky? Did God make the dirt? Does God make cars?” So I told her that people make cars and she said “How do people make cars?” So I came up with “Well they take metal and cut and bend it into the right shape”. She said “How do they know what the right shape is?” Jeez kid, cut me some slack! Another day she asked out of the blue “where are Great PopPop’s body and bones?” I’d seen the progression coming on that question. When we went to the Science Center we talked about how the dinosaurs lived a long time ago but they all died and all that is left is their bones because they don’t need bodies or bones in heaven. Also this week she asked if her cold was caused by a bacteria or a virus. This question is partly because of the Magic School Bus episode that goes “inside Ralphie” for a look at how the body fights illness, and party because a few days earlier Alex started the cold with a sore throat and I had said we might have to take Alex to the doctor to find out if his sore throat was caused by a bacteria or a virus.

My list of quirky stuff that I noticed Alex doing this week includes Alex telling people “my Mom can do that”. When we were at Sunday school and the DVD player wasn’t working Alex told the teacher “my Mom can fix it”, and when Grammy Barb couldn’t get the brownies out of the pan Alex told her “my Mom knows how to do it”. The kids do know that I have my limitations though. When there was a bug in the bathroom Chloe said “we’ll have to call Daddy to get it” and then Alex grabbed a big toy and squashed it himself. That is one gender division I can live with! Also this week Alex was sitting on the toilet when he asked “why does that toilet paper turn the wrong way?” I’d never shown the kids how to install paper in the holder so I’d never pointed out which way the paper “should” turn, but I am fastidious about putting the paper in so that the paper hangs over the top. Poor Alex I guess he will now inherit that quirk. The pictures this week are of Chloe with a picture of an eagle she had drawn all by herself, and Alex with a belated birthday gift.

week ending oct 14, 2007:

Week ending Oct 14, 2007: This week I decided to visit the preschool. The kids have been getting progressively less enthusiastic about going to school and Tuesday they told me they were NOT going to school. They told me they were not going to put their shoes on, they were not going to get in the car, they were not going to get out of the car, and they were not going to walk to class. I told them it wasn’t optional (not in so many words), and they relented and went to class without a fuss, but I was still concerned about what was driving them to not want to go to class. The school has an open door policy, so I stayed with them in the class for the whole 2.5 hours. Alex and Chloe appeared to have a wonderful time with lots of interaction with the other kids, lots of playing inside and out, and nothing that looked too rigorously academic. I talked briefly with the teacher about my concerns (she’s quite busy watching all those kids) and she said that Alex and Chloe don’t complain about being at school while they are there. She suspects their refusals are just a power struggle with me. She did say that Alex refuses to participate in some of the activities, usually the arts and crafts stuff, and she just invites him to join in, but doesn’t make it mandatory. At home Alex is not always excited about arts and crafts, so I’m not surprised. I’ve spent a lot of energy wondering whether having them in school for 2 years of preschool is the right thing to do, especially since they tell me they don’t want to go. Right now I haven’t seen them upset about having to go to school or about anything that happened at school, and I have seen Alex making progress with social skills and they are both making progress with their writing/drawing skills, so I think school is beneficial for them this year. I don’t need them to be MENSA members, but I think this time away from home with other kids will help them make an easier transition to Kindergarten which (for our state) is a full day and 5 days a week.
On a lighter note, Chloe’s been embarrassing me (and making me laugh) by saying things I know she must have heard from me like “Don’t worry Mom, it’s not the end of the world” and “Why do I have to say ‘stop it’ 12 times?!” Alex made us laugh the other day when he was trying to tell us which shirt he wanted to wear. He said “the nipple pocket shirt” to describe the shirt with the pocket on the chest. I guess I’m just immature because I can’t hear someone say the word “nipple” without laughing. Here are the pictures from our visit to the U.S. Botanic Gardens this week: http://picasaweb.google.com/constance.phelps/USBotanicGardens

week ending oct 7, 2007:

Arm paint on their "real real birthday"












We invited friends to the mall and played in the play area














I paid $1 for them to ride this roller coaster simulator at the mall. Alex seems to like it!


Week ending October 7, 2007: This week we spoiled the kids rotten. On Monday they got to go to Toys’R’Us and spend the money that people gave to them for their birthdays. I made them walk the entire store and look at everything before we put anything into the cart. What they ended up putting in the cart was very different than the 1st couple items they had the impulse to buy. On Tuesday there was a birthday celebration for the kids at school and they sang “Happy Birthday” and Alex and Chloe got crowns, and I sent in ice cream and popsicles (cupcakes are not allowed at their school). Tuesday was also their father’s birthday so we sang “Happy Birthday” to Daddy and ate more cake. On Wednesday it was their actual birthday or their “real real birthday” as Chloe told everyone. Chloe was so excited to not be 3 anymore. She danced around the house and sang “I am 4! I am 4!”. She also asked me about a hundred times “How old am I?” and I’d say “How old ARE you?”, and she’d say “one two three FOUR!”. The Face Paint Lady was at the mall so I invited some of their friends and they got their arms painted (for free!) and had pizza for lunch and I let them have Sprite (soda is absolutely thrilling for them because I almost never let them have it). Then at home after dinner we sang “Happy Birthday” again and the kids asked us to put candles in their left over birthday cake. Then they opened the presents from us. It was so much spoiling I was really starting to wonder how they would adjust to going back to a life that wasn’t ALL about them.

On Saturday we went to a birthday party at a petting farm. The guest of honor was a friend from school named Natalie. Natalie’s parents only invited 4 kids from school out of the 12 in their class, so I guess Alex and Chloe must have made an impression on Natalie. Since feeding the animals went over so well at the Catoctin zoo, I thought the petting farm would be really exciting for them. Unfortunately all Chloe really remembered about the zoo was that a goat bit her finger. She didn’t think about the dozens of animals that she fed before and AFTER she got bit. At least she did get close enough to pet the animals on the neck as long as the animal’s lips were at what she judged to be a safe distance from her. Alex wouldn’t get near hardly any of the animals. I think the problem was really that all the 10 cousins and siblings at the party would each gather in front of whichever animal we were to pet, and Alex was overwhelmed by the crowding. In the end he did pet a bunny rabbit while the other kids were off feeding pigmy goats.
On Sunday they went to Sunday school. I told them the night before that the next day would be Sunday and we would all go to church. This is the 4th week since summer break and I guess the kids are tired of it. They both told me they weren’t going. I told them they didn’t have a choice. After we got to church and the children were called out of the service to go to school, Alex and Chloe both ran back to the classroom with the other kids, so they weren’t THAT adamant about not going. When I caught up they said they wanted me to stay in class with them. Last year they were excited about Sunday school and didn’t complain about staying in class while I listened to the sermon, but this year they’ve asked me to stay at every class. At least since I’ve been watching all the classes I know that the teacher is very nice, the curriculum is fun, and there is nothing for them to be scared of other than the run-of-the-mill separation anxiety.