week ending july 1, 2007:

Week ending July 1, 2007: We’re heading up to the Poconos on Saturday morning for a week long vacation with friends from college, and aren’t likely to have internet access. The 5 families are renting a 6 bedroom house. All told there will be 10 adults and 10 kids aged 9, 7, 5, 4, 3, 3, 3, 1, 1, and 0.5. It is the same group who went with us to the Jersey shore last year, plus an additional family. The kids are very excited about seeing their friends. We’ve got a canoe on top of the Suburban, 4 bikes on a rack on the back, and the cargo area is filled from floor to ceiling. We should have enough stuff to entertain ourselves for a week! This week Alex and Chloe did their first overnight away from home without Mom and Dad. Ever since February when we slept at Grammy Barb’s house while our power was out, the kids have been asking when they can sleep there again. While the kids were in good hands, their father and I went to see a Jimmy Buffett concert in VA (happy 11th anniversary to us!). We told the kids that they were going to sleep-over party at Grammy Barb’s and Chloe was excited, but Alex said he wanted to go “listen to grown-up music” with us. Again we packed enough toys, books, spare clothes, and food for about a week despite that they were only going to be there for about 24 hours. The kids did really well and slept through the night. When they got home I asked Alex if he had worried about anything while he was at Grammy Barb’s. He said yes, so I asked what he’d worried about and he said “I worried that I was going to have to go home. I wanted to stay there for many many days and dinner.” I guess he really enjoyed himself! Also this week, Chloe’s habit of licking things and putting things into her mouth became more troublesome. I feel like I’m always telling her to only put food and drinks into her mouth, but she never listens. In the past weeks she’s licked the screen door, her brother, the car, and puts all kinds of toys into her mouth. Yesterday she said to me “what is that brown stuff on the mirror?” I said “that is Mommy’s hair dye, I guess Mommy didn’t do a good job cleaning up last night”. Chloe said “I thought it was chocolate, I licked it.” I explained how hair dye is poisonous (they watch Snow White and know about the poisoned apple) and that any time she licks things that aren’t food she doesn’t know whether there could be something poisonous like bathroom cleaner on it. She started to cry and I was torn between wanting her to understand how important it is to keep her mouth off of things and not wanting to traumatize her. However, in the past day I’ve told her twice already about putting things into her mouth, so I guess she wasn’t too traumatized.

Beach day

Beach vacation: On Saturday, June 23rd we headed for a beach vacation. We stopped in Chincoteague to pick up Daddy who had caught 4 yellow fin tuna and 3 dolphin on his 1st fishing trip of the year (the kids and I would have gone down earlier in the week with Daddy, but we had a family birthday party). Then we headed to the Wallops Island Visitor’s Center to look at real rocket ships. I remember seeing a real rocket at Wallops when my dad worked there when I was a kid, but the lady at the Visitor’s Center said that the Center was just about to celebrate it’s 25th anniversary, so it is too young for me to have been there while I lived on the Eastern Shore. After the Visitor’s Center we went to MomMom’s condo in Ocean City for dinner and a walk down the boardwalk toward the carnival rides and the kids had their first-ever cotton candy.

On the way into town while we were stuck waiting for the drawbridge I’d pointed out the Ferris wheel to the kids. It was all Chloe could talk about until we got there. Alex decided he didn’t want to try it, so we put him on a different ride. Unfortunately his ride had a shorter line and he was done just in time to see Chloe on the Ferris wheel. He cried and cried about going on, but we’d explained before he decided that he only had one chance to go on the ride (and I think it would have been scary for him anyway, which is why I think opted out in the first place). The kids also went on bumper boats which they got to steer themselves (that was hilarious to watch), motorcycles that did wheelies (the kids had permanent grins on that ride), and one other ride (the each chose a different one).


We took the boardwalk tram back to the condo and Alex said that was his favorite ride. We slept at the condo with no fuss, and were on the beach the following morning by 9am for a really pretty day.

By noon we were all beat and packed it in and headed home just in time for the kids to take a nice nap in the car.

Week ending June 24, 2007:

Week ending June 24, 2007: Several weeks ago we got a packet from the preschool that the kids will be attending in the fall. We learned that they will be in the same class, and the school provided some helpful hints for the fall. For example they suggested that the kids wear clothes that are easy to take off and put on such as no overalls, no onesies, no belts, pants with elastic waists (no buttons or zippers), so that the kids can potty independently at school. Chloe’s been potty trained since October and Alex since February, so this shouldn’t be a big deal, but this week it became a big deal anyway. I told the kids that at school they would have to do everything in the bathroom by themselves and Chloe didn’t have any problem with it, but Alex got scared right away and said he didn’t want to. He has always insisted that I stand in the bathroom with him before he’ll sit on the potty, and then he asks me if he’s wiped well enough and if he’s scrubbed his hands with soap long enough and if he’s rinsed them long enough. I’ve spent weeks trying to gradually increase his responsibility, but he’s been very resistant. I’ve tried gently coaxing him and he refused. I tried saying “do it now or I’ll take away…” with every privilege I could think of, and nothing worked and Alex got angrier and more defiant in other respects. When I’d ask him to do simple things like sit down in his car seat he’d yell “you don’t get to tell me what to do, I’m a grown-up!” which led to a no-you-are-not yes-I-am argument (which was a little funny!). So, I tried a big bribe “if you potty by yourself I’ll give you 5 M&M’s after you’re done”. That worked once and then later that evening he told me he didn’t want M&M’s anymore. After weeks my patience had run thin and I decided Alex had to try to potty by himself and it had to be now. I put him in the bathroom and told him not to come out until he was done. He screamed and jumped up and down and bargained and about a half hour later with my serenity completely shot, he did it. Chloe chose the same day to test my patience on various things including a 15 minute screaming fit about blowing her nose. Later in the day Alex kicked and screamed for about 15 minutes when I told him he had to dress himself (which he knows very well how to do). It is amazing how one small problem spirals. Earlier that day I’d told the kids that we were going to an open-house at Grammy Carole’s pool and it had a moon bounce and face painting. But, after the 2nd or 3rd round of the kids kicking and screaming I told them they’d lost their “pool party” privilege. I spent the rest of the day second guessing myself and feeling like the meanest-mother-in-the-world, but we didn’t go and I think that was the right decision because we were all too wound up to handle all the stimulation of the open-house. Things seem to have calmed down now. Alex still complains and bargains about using the potty by himself, but there is no more kicking and screaming. Chloe still complains about blowing her nose, but she does it. And, I reinforced that when I say something, I mean it. Not perfect parenting, but we’re muddling through as best we can. Hopefully they won’t need more psycho-therapy than they can afford when they are grown up ;)

Daddy's new job

Daddy’s new job: Casey’s been working at John’s Hopkins Applied Physics Lab for 7 years now, but this week has turned in his resignation effective July 20th. He’ll start his new job at Architect of the Capitol on July 23rd. The day that Casey received the offer from AOC, he interviewed with a small company in Pasadena that builds and renovates shopping malls. After hearing about what the small company does Casey said that he wasn’t interested in the job. The man interviewing him said it was a shame because they could make him a competitive offer with an attractive bonus schedule. I think someday it will be important for the kids to know that their father could have a more lucrative job closer to home, but he turned it down in favor of working on a historical monument. Casey worked as a consultant several years ago and did a project on the Capitol dome. At that time he said that if he could ever get a job working for AOC, he would take it. Now, over 7 years later, he has that job. Here’s a link to AOC: http://www.aoc.gov/

week ending june 17, 2007:

Week ending June 17, 2007: I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, so I’m behind on lots of stories. Recently we finished photo collages in each of the kids’ bedrooms. I picked out the frames and they picked out the pictures. After much debate, Alex picked all pictures that were on rides at carnivals and Disney. Chloe knew right away that she wanted the picture of her with our late dog, Ellie, and the picture of her with the rainbow sherbet, and she had to think a while before she decided on the other pictures. Chloe talks often of Ellie although Ellie died when Chloe was 13 months, Chloe still remembers her from the many photographs in frames and albums around the house. Every once in a while Chloe asks where Ellie is and we talk about heaven and occasionally Chloe cries or whines and says she misses Ellie. Chloe’s first baby-sign-language word was “dog”, and she learned it the day that Ellie didn’t come home from the animal hospital when we had her put down. I think it has been a good learning experience for Chloe to be able to talk about Ellie and ask questions about heaven (sorry Great Granddad, in our heaven there are dogs). The other day in Wal-Mart, before Great PopPop passed away Chloe was whining about how she wanted to go to heaven and be an angel “RIGHT NOW!”. As I started to answer her we turned a corner and I noticed another woman looking right at us so I had to explain with an audience that the only way to get to heaven is to die and that once a person dies, they don’t get to see the people on earth any more. I can’t imagine what that woman thought of us, but I figured it was more import that Chloe got her answer than for me to save face in front of a stranger in Wal-Mart. My story about Alex is about his piggy bank. Both kids have started to put coins into their piggy banks and a week or two ago Alex found some money on the floor early in the morning before Chloe was awake and he put some money in his piggy bank, and some money in Chloe’s. She was asleep and wouldn’t have known if he had taken all the money, but Alex likes rules and he’s noticed that if he gets something, Chloe always gets something, so he felt better giving her some money and living with his sense of justice than having a few extra coins for himself.

Twins' first fishing trip:

The twins’ first fishing trip, June 16, 2007: Casey has a passion for fishing so great that he really has no other hobbies, and he’s been waiting almost 4 years to get the twins out fishing. We were hoping to go to Chincoteague this weekend for tuna fishing offshore (the twins are still too little for offshore), but the warm water isn’t close enough to shore to bring the fish into range (50 miles offshore). So at the last minute we decided to take the kids fishing today. On a boat ride two weeks ago Alex spent the whole trip in the lap of one adult or another insisting that he needed a hat over his face and two arms to hold him. He is always enthusiastic at the prospect of a boat ride, but doesn’t seem to actually enjoy it. On previous boat trips we’d always had extra grown-ups around to help with the kids while Casey drove the boat, but this trip was just the 4 of us so we had the kids sit in the cabin leaning on the new beanbag chair that one of Casey’s friends recently bought. Alex was quite calm about riding in the cabin, so we can only speculate that it is the wind that bothers him about riding on the deck. The Father’s Day present I bought for Casey is two child-sized deck chairs. Casey showed them to me in the catalog and has been saying for months that they would be nice to have for fishing. I didn’t understand at all how these chairs could be worth their price since the kids have always sat in the lap of a grown up when we are riding in the boat, but it turns out that they really are invaluable for fishing. The water today was quite choppy and there was a lot of boat traffic causing the boat to really rock and roll as we drifted, but the kids sat in their chairs, the chairs didn’t budge, the kids had something to hold onto to make them feel secure, and we didn’t have to worry so much about them the kids falling down or falling in. We drug some lures along the bottom for a while and didn’t even get a nibble. I thought Chloe would get bored of fishing pretty quickly, especially since she got bored on a paddle boat trip last weekend, but she really objected to leaving the fishing grounds before we’d caught a fish when we realized dinner time was fast approaching. All told, the weather was beautiful, the kids had a great time, and I think we’re starting to hand down the tradition of fishing that Casey’s father handed down to him.

who needs paper?

Alex and Chloe have markers that make little tiny stamp prints. They enjoy them so much that I let them make the little stamp prints on their skin instead of sticking to the usual rule for drawing/painting/coloring which is the "only on paper" rule. Well, that is what I thought they were doing when I walked in to find them giving each other a more thorough decorating than I had envisioned. At least they didn't draw on the furniture or carpet! As with all pictures on this site, you can click on the image to view a larger version of the image.

week ending jun 10, 2007:

Week ending June 10, 2007: This week I went to Great PopPop’s funeral and listened to my mother speak beautifully about the thoughtful and caring way in which Great PopPop had raised her. She sited walks in the woods in which he taught her how to notice the little nuances of nature that she might otherwise have missed. Later in the week I was hurrying to get the kids ready for an outing and I ran through the back yard to get a toy Chloe insisted on taking with her. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small blue shape in the middle of the grass, so tiny it could easily have been missed. It was part of robin’s egg shell. In my haste I almost left it there, but my mother’s words popped into my head and I remember how, when I was a child, she had shown a similar egg to shell to me that I might wonder about the little baby bird that had been born from it. So instead of continuing with the task of getting ready to leave, I paused to pick up the shell and called the kids over to tell them about it. I now know that Alex and Chloe won’t remember that they were a few extra minutes late to some outing, but I hope that they will remember that one day their mother shared with them a tiny blue egg shell so fragile that it broke even with their gentlest touch. This one of the ways Great PopPop lives on, in a legacy of parenting children such that they can appreciate God’s gifts.

week ending jun 3, 2007:

Week ending June 3, 2007: We got some very sad news this week. My maternal grandfather (the kids called him Great PopPop) passed away on Friday, June 1. He was 91 years old and died of gangrene. Services are Monday morning at 10am in Wilmington, DE. I’d been reading on hospice.net about talking with children about death and funerals. They say that 3 year olds aren’t able to understand permanence in any situation, let alone death, but that they do understand when people around them are upset. Coincidentally it was Thursday when I printed out some pictures of Great PopPop and asked the kids if they knew who he was. We’ve visited him at least 4 times a year every year, so they knew right away who he was. They remember his birthday parties and the cakes and his dancing Santa toy that always decorates his room at Christmas time. I told them that Great PopPop was going to heaven soon and Chloe asked if he was going to be angel like she was before she was born. I said yes, and I added that a lot people were going to be very sad when Great PopPop goes to heaven because we won’t be able to see him anymore on earth and he wouldn’t be able to walk or talk or eat anymore. The kids just waited quietly while I went on to explain that after Great PopPop goes to heaven his family and friends would all get together and have what is called a funeral where we say goodbye to Great PopPop. I said that it might be a little scary to see grown ups cry, so the twins didn’t have to go the funeral if they didn’t want to. Alex right away said he didn’t want to go. Chloe asked if she could wear a pretty dress (she LOVES going to family get-togethers and wearing pretty dresses) and I said no because the funeral is a time to think about Great PopPop not about how we look. At that point Chloe decided that she didn’t want to go either. I am selfishly glad for the opportunity to spend time with relatives without having to spend nearly every second catering to the needs of the twins, but part of me wishes that they would come with me because they bring such wonder to everything that they do and I always miss them when I’m away even just for a day. Anyway, as we finished talking about Great PopPop, Chloe leaned over and kissed me, as though in some small way she did understand the gravity of the situation, if not the situation itself. The pictures this week are of the kids pretending that the ironing board is a boat. Alex is wearing a knight’s tunic, a knight’s cape, and Spiderman underpants. In the other picture the kids are showing off the masks that they made.