week ending jun 3, 2007:

Week ending June 3, 2007: We got some very sad news this week. My maternal grandfather (the kids called him Great PopPop) passed away on Friday, June 1. He was 91 years old and died of gangrene. Services are Monday morning at 10am in Wilmington, DE. I’d been reading on hospice.net about talking with children about death and funerals. They say that 3 year olds aren’t able to understand permanence in any situation, let alone death, but that they do understand when people around them are upset. Coincidentally it was Thursday when I printed out some pictures of Great PopPop and asked the kids if they knew who he was. We’ve visited him at least 4 times a year every year, so they knew right away who he was. They remember his birthday parties and the cakes and his dancing Santa toy that always decorates his room at Christmas time. I told them that Great PopPop was going to heaven soon and Chloe asked if he was going to be angel like she was before she was born. I said yes, and I added that a lot people were going to be very sad when Great PopPop goes to heaven because we won’t be able to see him anymore on earth and he wouldn’t be able to walk or talk or eat anymore. The kids just waited quietly while I went on to explain that after Great PopPop goes to heaven his family and friends would all get together and have what is called a funeral where we say goodbye to Great PopPop. I said that it might be a little scary to see grown ups cry, so the twins didn’t have to go the funeral if they didn’t want to. Alex right away said he didn’t want to go. Chloe asked if she could wear a pretty dress (she LOVES going to family get-togethers and wearing pretty dresses) and I said no because the funeral is a time to think about Great PopPop not about how we look. At that point Chloe decided that she didn’t want to go either. I am selfishly glad for the opportunity to spend time with relatives without having to spend nearly every second catering to the needs of the twins, but part of me wishes that they would come with me because they bring such wonder to everything that they do and I always miss them when I’m away even just for a day. Anyway, as we finished talking about Great PopPop, Chloe leaned over and kissed me, as though in some small way she did understand the gravity of the situation, if not the situation itself. The pictures this week are of the kids pretending that the ironing board is a boat. Alex is wearing a knight’s tunic, a knight’s cape, and Spiderman underpants. In the other picture the kids are showing off the masks that they made.