Third Ski Trip

Third ski trip: Things started to go wrong before we even scheduled the lesson. I told Alex and Chloe I was going to schedule a ski lesson for them with their friend Angie and asked if they were pleased. Alex said he didn’t want to go. I asked why and he said that his last ski instructor told him that if he cried she was going to send him to the “baby room” where it was stinky and loud because of all the crying babies (the resort has day care). Chloe jumped in and corrected him saying that the teacher said she’d send Alex to the baby room if he didn’t do what he was told. Now I know kids sometimes misunderstand a situation or let their imagination run wild and come up with stories, but here I had the two of them coming up with roughly the same story, so I was inclined to believe them. There were two sets of teachers in the last lesson, one before snack break, and a different set after snack break. Before snack break Alex cried because I wasn’t there and when his teacher asked him to go on the magic carpet, or ski down the hill, he just stood there and said “no thank you” (he’s not allowed to say “no” to grown-ups), and this is the behavior that prompted this teacher to threaten my child? The after-the-snack teachers got the same “no thank you” response from Alex, but they were patient, let him take lots of breaks and kept him busy throwing snowballs and having fun between ski runs, which is what the 1st set of instructors should have done. Anyway, back to scheduling the lesson, I explained that the “baby room” is neither stinky nor noisy, and that we were going to a different mountain this time so we definitely would not have the same teacher, and I promised that I would stay next to the slope the whole time and make sure no one sent him to “the baby room”, so Alex agreed to go. Morning of the ski trip Alex changed his mind and decided he’s not going. I told him that he didn’t have to ski, but he does have to go. When we got there and saw Angie, he seemed excited. He explained that one must put their boot into the ski binding toe-first, like pushing a battery in. I was impressed with the comparison. Once suited up and ready to go the kids tried the nearly flat slope with the rubber mat on the side to walk back up. It is only Alex and Chloe and Angie in the class, and I get to actually talk to the teacher beforehand and explain that had a bad experience last time and that I am more concerned that he have fun today than that he actually learn how to ski today. Everyone seemed confident on the flat slope so they move over to the steeper slope with the magic carpet. This slope is much steeper than the one at the previous resort and since the kids don’t know how to turn or stop, once they get going down the hill all they can do is careen fearfully until they fall over. The teacher can’t be next to each kid all the time as they keep slipping down the mountain away from each other, so after the second run Alex and Chloe are scared, frustrated, whining, and ready to quit. Unlike the other resort, this lesson area is not fenced off, so I tried to run along with the kids on foot, but it is a losing battle. Angie’s Dad came back to check in and saw what was going on and managed to teach Angie to snow-plow and to start to turn. Neither the teacher nor I could manage to teach the twins anything. By the end of the lesson I was mentally exhausted and the twins were still scared and frustrated. Alex said he is never going again. He said when he is a grown-up, he is never going to take his kids skiing. Later in the day I asked if he had a good time skiing with Angie. He said “yes, but I’m never skiing again”. I guess we’ll have to see about that. Skiing with the kids is one of the dreams that I’ve had since before the kids were born, like Casey dreamed of taking the kids fishing. Getting Alex adjusted to riding in the boat was a slow process; perhaps skiing will be the same.

week ending feb 24, 2008:

Week ending February 24, 2008: What a week of contrasts. I have a space reserved on my dry erase board where I write down cute things that the kids say or do, or just things that I would like to write about what the kids have done during the week so that I’ll have something to write about on Sunday. Well, the week before, the kids were not cute. Not at all. When it was mid-week and I realized that there was nothing on the board I tried to watch more closely in case I could spot one of those events that is not at all funny while it is happening, but is so predictably awful that I could see how it might seem funny in the future, or might be funny to the other parents who have gone through similar events. Not happening. The kids were so miserable recovering from their cold/flu that I could just barely stand them. I started to feel really sorry for parents of children who have chronic illnesses. I don’t know how I’d survive! We were running perilously low on toilet paper so I really had to make a trip to Sam’s Club and what a miserable occasion that was. The Sam’s Club carts seat two kids side-by-side, so Alex and Chloe didn’t even have to walk, but Chloe was so grouchy that she kept taking it out on her brother and beating/kicking/pushing/pinching and otherwise torturing him. After several warnings I took her out of the cart and told her she had to walk. She hung on the side of the cart making a low sustained whine until I finally felt sorry enough for her I declared “time out from the seat” over and I put her back in the cart seat. While at Sam’s Club we passed by some plants that I couldn’t resist, although with the miserable weather and miserable kids, I couldn’t begin to guess how I was going to get them planted. Well, 7 days passed and the temperature hit 72F and the kids felt better and we all got to go OUTSIDE and the kids played with all the toys they hadn’t seen in weeks and I got to do some gardening in the warm sunshine. And we got to take the kids for a ride in the convertible with the top down. What a contrast! After two weeks stuck in the house with miserable kids, some sunshine and happy kids was a truly appreciated gift from God. Then two days later it snowed. And snowed. And snowed. Three and a half inches! Fortunately the kids were still feeling well, so they went out and enjoyed the snow.

Also this week we took the kids to visit their Great Grandfather, and to see the new indoor children’s garden at Longwood Gardens in Kennett Square, PA. We had a nice visit, and the Gardens were fantastic, as expected by Longwood standards.

pictures from Longwood: http://picasaweb.google.com/constance.phelps/LongwoodKidsGardenEtc

2nd ski trip

.Friday Feb 15 I took the kids for their 2nd lesson. It was my first time taking the kids without Casey to help. They've been pretty tired all week still recovering from their cold of last week, but I thought they were well enough by Friday. I dropped them at the lesson and left for a while. When I came back Alex's goggles were half way over his eyes so I called to him to move them (parent's aren't allowed inside the fenced lesson area). He came over to the fence and his eyelashes were wet and his cheeks and eyes red from crying. The teacher hollered over to us "I wish you hadn't come back, we'd just got him around the corner and he was starting to do well". Alex gave me a big smile and the teacher called "Bye Mom!" so I told Alex I had to go for a whileHe willingly rejoined the class but I was very worried since I had no idea what he had been crying about or if he was still just too tired for this much activity. I watched from a more anonymous viewpoint and Alex was doing ok, so I left again. When I came back the classes had shuffled and Alex and Chloe were with a new teacher. One of the original teachers hollered over that Alex had been doing well and hadn’t had any more problems.
I watched from a distance and Chloe was going like gangbusters. Many of the kids were waiting for the teachers to tell them when to go down the slope but Chloe just went up and down the slope as many times as she could. At one point she fell down and stood herself back up without help (most of the other kids required help to stand up after a fall since their skis kept slipping back out from under them as they tried to stand). Alex, on the other hand, would not go down the slope at all unless the teacher went right next to him. This new teacher was very patient and very enthusiastic, but Alex had his mind made up, and he wouldn’t do it unless it was his way. The 1st time skiing Alex skied just like Chloe was doing this time, as many runs as he could with no one helping him. When I picked them up after class I picked Alex up and gave him a big squeeze. He just hung limp in my arms. Both kids were sweating (it ended up being 48F that day!) so we opened our jackets, took off our hats and sat in the snow to cool off.
Both kids said they had a good time skiing and wanted to come back next week, and both kids said they wanted to ride the chair lift (the lesson had only used the magic carpet). I explained that if we rode the chair lift up we’d have to ski back down so Alex changed his mind and decided that he didn’t want to. As we sat in the snow Alex perked back up and eventually decided that he did want to ride chair lift and ski down as long as I held his hand. The lift operator slowed the lift down and lifted Chloe into the chair as I lifted Alex. During the ride up the kids were very excited and didn’t mention at all being afraid of the height (I was afraid of the height my first time riding a chair lift in high school). When we got to the top I held firmly onto the arm of each child and we skied off the lift without creating a pile up! It took us a while to get the hang of skiing down together without getting our 6 skis all tangled up and the kids hung on me quite a bit, but we skied all the way down the big bunny slope together and then had celebratory doughnuts and Gatorade! The pictures with the triangle at the bottom are the first frame of videos. Press the arrow to start. The close up pictures of Alex and Chloe are while riding the lift. The picture of both of them together is at the top of the bunny slope, you can see the lift running down the hill behind them. It turns out it was my fault Alex was upset at the beginning of class. He didn’t know I was leaving before I left. I usually am very careful about such things because I know Alex is only comfortable if he knows what is going to happen before it happens. At least he does want to go back next week, so he isn’t too traumatized.

happy valentine's day

We did Time Capsule Photos at Arundel Mills Mall again for Valentine's Day. I have wallet sized copies of the book one if any of you would like one.

week ending feb 10, 2008:

Week ending February 10, 2008: Alex is laying on the floor coughing so often that if you start counting every time he stops coughing, he’d be lucky if you ever get to 30 before another cough comes. He’s coughing much more frequently than every 30 seconds, and this is after 2 days of aggressive medicine. After a while Chloe interrogates him from across the room as to whether he’s covering his mouth when he coughs. I tell her to leave him alone. A few minutes after that she lies down next to him and screams “stop coughing on me!” and starts crying. Such is life in house with two sick kids. I bought some crafts so we’d have something to do that didn’t require a lot of physical energy, but they are lacking mental energy as well.

Alex hadn’t finished his last 30 day treatment of inhaled medicine to relieve the irritation in his lungs (underlying cause of asthma) when this latest round of aggravated coughing started. Within 3 days of the cold’s onset he had a constant barking cough that I’ve learned from experience does not get better on its own, so I took him in to the doctor. The “barking” sound comes from irritation and swelling in his throat. Because we’ve been treating his lungs the doctor suspects a second cause of the irritation which may be acid reflux. The coughing may churn his stomach up which irritates his throat which aggravates the coughing, which churns his stomach up and thus becomes a vicious cycle. So we are trying Alex on a month of Prevacid for acid reflux.
The day before the kids came down with the virus I took Chloe ice skating for the 2nd time this winter. Alex decided he didn’t want to go. I’d asked on a few other days if he’d like to go and he always says “not today”. So this time I said “Yes, today. If you want to sit and watch instead of skating that’s fine, but Chloe and I want to go”. Then Alex said “But I want someone to baby sit me”. I decided that was a reasonable request and Grammy Carole happened to be available. So Chloe and I went to a weekday public skate session and it was much less crowded that the weekend one we went to before. Chloe was very timid at first and seemed to have lost everything she’d learned before. One of the other women skating was a very proficient figure skater and she came over and asked if we’d like some tips. With just a few hints from her, some patience on my part, and some courage on Chloe’s part, Chloe made a great deal of progress and could skate half the length of the area without holding onto my hand. It was like getting a private lesson! It was really thrilling to watch her gain so much confidence. I don’t have any designs on raising super-talented kids, but I do want to raise kids who can face challenges with confidence. Fear just sucks the fun out of life. I couldn’t find my camera that day, so no pictures.

weeke ending feb 3, 2008

Week ending February 3, 2008: Chloe drew a picture that week that impressed me (again). She says it is a picture of me wearing my “pretty red dress” (that I wore on the cruise) and I have matching pretty red shoes (product of wishful thinking, I don’t really have red shoes) and I have a pink bow in my hair and she drew in a black frame around the picture.

My next story I’m ashamed to tell. I asked Alex to put on his shoes so we could leave and he told me he was going to put on two different shoes, one dress shoe, and one sneaker. I wasn’t fond of the idea so I asked if the other kids would likely wear matching shoes and he agreed they wouldn’t. I asked if he thought he’d like to be like the rest of the kids, or different, and he decided he’d like to be like the rest of the kids. Just another pathetic sheep, following the herd. Way to go, Mom! In hind sight, I wish I’d let it go.

We made cookies this week from a recipe we saw in their “Your Big Backyard” magazine. The glossy layout showed colorful cookies artfully arranged to look like a variety of animals so I said “do you want to make those cookies?” And, of course, they did. Almost as soon as I said it I knew it was not going to be nearly as easy as it looked in the magazine. Why do I start this Martha Stewart garbage? In the end the kids were happy with the results and we made cookies with rolled oats in them, so they weren’t nutritiously vacuous. Then the problem was that the kids didn’t like the taste, so they just licked the icing off and didn’t eat the cookies. So much for nutrition.

Something I forgot to mention from the parent-teacher conference was that the teachers pointed out that Alex and Chloe aren’t “attached at the hip” in class as some twins are. I’m glad that they are confident enough to each find friends and activities of their own.
On a final note, I’d like to share what I learned about cat pee. It took me 4 days to get the smell out of everything meanwhile the kids slept on make-shift beds. The enzymatic cleaner worked on the mattresses as long as we soaked it thoroughly enough and allowed enough time for the product to work. I washed one load of bed clothes 3 times and the smell was still there. Then I learned that baking soda and vinegar in the washing machine takes out the cat pee smell. The next load with the baking soda and vinegar took out the smell the first time! I didn’t know how much to use, so I used a 1/2lb of baking soda and a pint of vinegar. That did the trick! I had to wash 2 comforters, 2 sets of sheets and 2 mattress pads which was 4 loads of laundry. I’m still not feeling very congenial toward the cat, but I let her live.